Just a thought by coppi

“Every man’s life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man from another.” – Ernest Hemingway

“Reach for the moon—even if you miss you’ll land among the stars.”

I am an advocate of going back into my soul and rooting out any “leftover’s” of hurt still lingering there.  I am big in journalizing , going to Jesus in prayer, and talking to a trusted friend about a lingering hurt in my life.  It was many years ago and I had returned to Dallas after spending a year In Oklahoma to try and face the demons I left in Dallas  and start over.  At that messy time my then husband had completely destroyed my life with his scam, leaving me with an over-the-top shame and with ‘who I thought were friends’ (that delighted in blaming me for his felonious actions). Plus, the repercussions of bankruptcy produced angry creditors, etc.  It was a total disaster, but I had to return to the city I loved and face the influx of shame of a situation I had no idea about, but was swept into because he was my husband.  I returned and found a wonderful job at Adams Golf.  The employees at Adams Golf became my family.  My immediate family had nothing to do with me, or if they did, I never heard from them.  I was alone.  I divorced my husband who was a pathological liar, which I could not live with, and found it hard to think he would cause such trauma for mankind including me.  Several years later I re-married and thought maybe my life would take a turn for the better, but the sad thing was the man I married was not who I thought he was.  Life was difficult being married to him, but I remember my mother made a comment to me one time “If you make a bed, you must now live in it”.  I did.  Joe became ill and was put in the hospital not expected to live.  I had gone up to see him after work and I guess all the pressure I was under caused me to break down.  I stood in the corridor of the hospital, and I could not stop crying;  During this breakdown I heard one of the nurses say “doesn’t she have anyone”?  I was alone except my special friends at Adams Golf.  I will never forget them-ever.  Anyway, I say all this because I thought I had dealt with all that pain and hurt, but I find a root is still inflamed in my soul.  To uproot something, I must dig it up by talking about it, praying, journalizing, to not let this bit of past darkness put out the light brightly shining in my life today.

Thank you for listening.